For the Forgotten Ones

Sometimes I find myself afraid to let my own heart soften when I hear stories like this. Worried that if I meet the desperate eyes of a homeless person, he'll "con" me out of money, I sheepishly smile and look away, telling myself he would just spend my money on alcohol. 

I am not rich by any means; graduate school has cleanly eliminated any such risk. But this summer has molded and enlarged my heart in a way that happens only rarely, and it makes me want to give as much as I can. I spent the summer working for the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI). As expected, the internship involved informing Congress about the latest adoption legislation, but it also involved working extensively with one of CCAI's programs--the Foster Youth Internship. CCAI takes several former foster youth from across the nation who have successfully navigated a competitive application process and provides them with paid Congressional internships, resume and career training, and the opportunity to write a policy paper to be presented at a briefing before Congress.

For these young adults, the policy paper is a challenging process. Working after hours to finish drafts, many of them choose to delve into their own painful pasts in order to furnish ideas to present before Congress on how to change the child welfare system. They tell their stories of hurt and pain in beautiful, vulnerable ways that lay bare the legislative flaws in our system.

Adoption was a commendable idea for someone else to consider. I was awed and inspired by families that undertook the foster care or adoptive process, but after I served as a team member on a trip to this wonderful foster home in Beijing, China, which helps pay for medical expenses for some of Beijing's most vulnerable and medically-needy children, adoption became an actual consideration. Still, I had never looked to our own child welfare system. I knew babies from the United States were in high demand by adoptive parents, and I had never considered caring for older children, though I commended those who did. 

Peter (Beijing)

Yet, working with these industrious and kind students with such painful pasts tugged on my heart in a way that few experiences can. One intern told me how her foster parents would lock the refrigerator door, and another foster home had twenty children; she said it's not like that any more, but there's still so many improvements to be made. One explained how she knew many people who said, "Oh, how could no one adopt you? I'd adopt you in a minute!"

No one did.

Others told me how some of their siblings were adopted, and they were suddenly and wholly cut off from these relationships. Their siblings moved to another county or state, had their name changed, and had their birth family identity cut off. Still others mentioned how their adoptive parents, not expecting the emotional trauma these children had in their pasts, could not handle the pain and, as a result, went through what is called "adoption dissolution." In other words, they were sent back. Each of these young adults wanted someone consistent to care, to love unconditionally as a parent, and to treat them as a son or daughter. Yet many still have no family to call their own.

Most tragic for me to realize was how many foster children "age out" of the system. Sure, they're 18, or 21 in some states, and thus considered fully capable to care for themselves with some economic assistance from the state. But aging out means they are no longer up for adoption. These teenagers, suddenly pushed out of the foster care system, have no family and only a slight chance of ever being civilly adopted.

Once a child turns nine, his or her chance of finding a "forever family" decreases significantly. Age nine: can you imagine? That's the age of running after the ice cream man. It's the time when a child should be on the swim team, learning how to roller blade, and acting in the school play. Children should be painting, selling lemonade, and jumping on the trampoline, not desperately wishing they had a family. That's the age of my youngest brother, whose biggest goal is to make 125 free throws by the end of the summer.

the lil' bro

My heart aches for these young adults who have nobody to return to. They have done well and they have conquered the statistics that so consistently dictate against their success, but I long for each of them to have a family, even yet.

Suddenly, the homeless man I see on my walk to the subway each day becomes someone I can smile at. Since I see him every day, it has become a ritual. I wait to catch his eyes if he isn't sleeping on his suitcase, and I give him a little grin, and he smiles back. He has demonstrated so clearly that it is not money or even food he craves, though I learned to carry extra water bottles and energy bars to share if I have the chance. It is connection, relationship, and love.

You probably are not rich either, but let your heart soften. There is such significant hurt and need, and something so affordable as a smile can truly make a difference. At first it will seem strange. It can be a bit awkward to purposely catch a stranger's eye and smile. But it is worth it. For the overlooked and the hurting, it means more than you can know. Hear me, though. The overlooked and the hurting are not just the woman holding a cardboard sign. Your co-worker and your next-door neighbor might be struggling or suffering too. People will give you signs: don't miss your chance and make your ten-o'-clock meeting at the expense of someone's spirit.

Please consider adopting, mentoring, or serving as a CASA (court-appointed special advocate). You do not have to possess special skills; kindness and determination is enough. Let these people change your own heart as you change their lives.

And of course, if you're in the D.C. area, come to the Foster Youth Internship briefing on Tuesday! I'd be happy to tell any of you specifics if you'd like. Feel free to comment about ways you've found to share joy and life with others.

Scrappin': Deceivingly Healthy Oatmeal Cookies

Dear Friends and Followers (and hopefully some who are both),

It's been a while, and seeing as I have four finals next week, this will just be a short recipe post to let you know I'm thinking of you. I have one week left before I head home for summer (to get married!), so I've been cleaning out/eating out my cupboards. This means extensive creativity in my cooking. But a couple adaptions to one of the oatmeal cookie recipes off chocolatecoveredkatie.com gave me these gems. Adapt to your own scrap foods as necessary.

Deceivingly Healthy Oatmeal Cookies (makes 20 small cookies at about 55 calories each)



Ingredients:
1 1/2 c. oatmeal (I have quick-cooking oats)
1/2 t. baking soda
1/4 t. salt
1/4 c. brown sugar
3 T Stevia in the raw (or granulated sugar)

2 T oil (I used coconut oil)
2 T milk (I used almond milk; water will work in a pinch)
6-12 pitted dates, chopped
1/2 t. vanilla
cocoa beans (I had these already; chocolate chips would work, but the cookies don't absolutely require these)

Blend all dry ingredients until oatmeal is finely ground; mix in wet ingredients. Form into 20 cookies (for an accurate calorie count), and cook on a greased cookie sheet. (I actually just put everything into our food processor, and chopped it until it formed the dough for me.)

Bake 7-10 minutes at 350 degrees until slightly browned on edges (keep a close eye--these don't need to be baked as long as normal cookies). Enjoy!

Happy End of April!

Mountaintops and Daily Living

Psalm 19:1-4: The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words; their voice is not heard; yet their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In the heavens he has set a tent for the sun.



Growing up surrounded by food, clothing, and comfort, it is easy to forget how much we can live without. We need a new outfit because it is on sale. We need to watch our favorite game or show. We need that hour of decompression after work. We need personal time. Our senses of need and want have mingled into a hopeless, twisted mess.

Somehow we have forgotten to go outside. Our needs have scurried indoors, where climate control and computer screens devour our days. We hesitate to face the chill of fresh wind, to climb a brambly hill, or to lie down on hard-packed dirt to visit with the stars. We're not sure if dirty hands are worth climbing a tree, and we don't have time between leaving the house and climbing into the car to see the clouds. Hand-painted, raw beauty surrounds us, and we rush to the comfort of our flat beige walls and our faux wood desks.


There is something missing.

Job 12:7-9 - But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you.  Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this?

How can we look to the birds of the air or observe the lilies of the field when the closest we come to them is a passing glance at the window or cut flowers from the nearest supermarket?

Genesis 9:12-13 - And God said, This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

How can we remember the covenant of the Lord if the clouds cannot garner our interest?


Three summers ago, I went on a backpacking trip with my extended family in British Columbia that changed my perspective on need and nature. We wanted to challenge ourselves, to live off of what we could carry on our backs, and to push beyond our physical limits. We wanted to bond as a family. And, in that week, we certainly received what we had asked for.

Nehemiah 9:6 You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you.



We crossed a glacier, roped to each other. We scaled a snow-covered mountain, unsure if the snow would slip off the face of the mountain, taking us along with it. We sank in mud and trudged through thick, stubborn branches.


Wading through streams, we walked with wet boots for days. We didn't shower. We touched ice cold glacier pools, staring at their mesmerizing pale blue colors.

Isaiah 40:12 - Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand and marked off the heavens with a span, enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales and the hills in a balance?

There were many moments on that trip when no one wanted to take another step; there were dangerous moments, slips and tumbles, and even minor injuries. Tears came, and mosquitos too, but our hearts were expanding. 

It took us encouraging one another, singing together, and sharing our stories to make it to the top. 

We pushed out of our comfort zones. We relied on one another. We endured brambles, snow, and pickaxe training ("Now, fall upside down backwards down this hill and catch yourself with your pickaxe.").   

We slept with our wet socks to help them dry. We ate out of cups and told stories with glowing cheeks on our unwashed faces. When we finally reached the top, surrounded by empty, snow-covered mountains and a glowing, sinking sun, we were enveloped by the matchless feeling that God is not a question. He was there in the atmosphere. Doubt washed away, and a clear sense of purpose, fulfillment, and joy overtook us. 

We wrote letters to ourselves up there. When we made it back down the mountain and jumped into the inlet to clean off, we reminded ourselves of what we learned on the mountain.

The air isn’t so clear in day-to-day life, and we cannot always climb mountains. We cannot live outside and abandon responsibility. But those mountaintop experiences are what keep us yearning to live and to change. Our families grew together in that trip, and when those letters were mailed to us half a year later, we had the privilege of hearing our own voices, unencumbered by the cares of the world, reminding us of what is truly important and what is transcendent, good, and beautiful.

Amos 4:13 - For, lo, he forms the mountains, and creates the wind, and declares unto man what is his thought, that makes the morning darkness, and treads upon the high places of the earth, The LORD, The God of hosts, is his name. 

I think back to that experience when I need encouragement or when listening to another lecture or attending another meeting seems empty and purposeless. There is a greater vision and a greater purpose. Our spirits are alive inside us, waiting to expand into people who better reflect Him through His loving guidance. As you are working through the brambles between those mountaintop experiences, remember Who loves you and that His wild, untamed heart beats for you. He would have made all of creation just for you. He would have died for you if you were the only one.


Jeremiah 51:16 - When he utters his voice, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens; and he causes the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth: he makes lightnings with rain, and brings forth the wind out of his treasures. 


Please share quotes, verses, or encouragement that has helped you maintain perspective in day-to-day life below. How have you lived with responsibilities and the pressures of daily life without losing the perspective of the mountaintops?

Psalms 8:3-9 - When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

This week, I challenge each of you spend an hour outside. Yes, an entire precious, beautiful hour. Find a friend, or take a journal and listen. Rest and push the to-do list aside, just for that hour. 

Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Snippets

As a camera-happy traveler, I thought I'd share snippets of my adventures through my "Scenic" tab (above). Below is a brief slideshow with some of my recent favorites. More to come.

Longing

This prayer was written in the early twentieth century by Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity. My mother, whose heart after the Lord is unmatched, sent it to me. I pray that it will bless you as much as it did me. 

May God, as she requests, see in us only His beloved Son in whom He is well-pleased. Be encouraged. Be fruitful. Prioritize what will have lasting fruit. To be this close to God: what joy! what unmatched purpose!

O my God, Trinity whom I adore, help me to become utterly forgetful of myself so that I may establish myself in you, as changeless and calm as though my soul were already in eternity. Let nothing disturb my peace nor draw me forth from you, O my unchanging God, but at every moment may I penetrate more deeply into the depths of your mystery. Give peace to my soul; make it your heaven, your cherished dwelling-place and the place of your repose. Let me never leave you there alone, but keep me there, wholly attentive, wholly alert in my faith, wholly adoring and fully given up to your creative action. 

O my beloved Christ, crucified for love, I long to be the bride of your heart. I long to cover you with glory, to love you even unto death! Yet I sense my powerlessness and beg you to clothe me with yourself. Identify my soul with all the movements of your soul, submerge me, overwhelm me, substitute yourself for me, so that my life may become a reflection of your life. Come into me as Adorer, as Redeemer, and as Savior. 

O Eternal Word, utterance of my God, I want to spend my life listening to you, to become totally teachable so that I might learn all from you. Through all darkness, all emptiness, all powerlessness, I want to keep my eyes fixed on you and to remain under your great light. O my Beloved Star, so fascinate me that I may never be able to leave your radiance.

O Consuming Fire, Spirit of Love, overshadow me so that the Word may be, as it were incarnate again in my soul. May I be for him a new humanity in which he can renew all his mystery. 

And you, O Father, bend down towards your poor little creature. Cover her with your shadow, see in her only your beloved son in who you are well pleased. 

O my "Three," my All, my Beatitude, infinite Solitude, Immensity in which I lose myself, I surrender myself to you as your prey. Immerse yourself in me so that I may be immersed in you until I go to contemplate in your light the abyss of your splendor!

No-Bake Cocoa Truffles

Dear Friends,

I decided to try to avoid eating sugar this semester, because out of all the problematic food groups, a lifetime sweet tooth is one I succumb to the most. Personally, I subscribe to the belief that sugar isn't all that terrible for you compared to aspartame and other sweeteners, with the exception of plant-based Stevia and its derivatives, but it's been enjoyable experimenting with no-sugar-added recipes to satisfy my demanding sweet tooth (or teeth, in my case).

Here's one of my favorites, because it's easy, filling, and sweet. It's also healthy (everything in moderation). I adapted it from another amazing recipe on this blog: http://theshiksa.com/2012/10/19/peanut-butter-honey-truffles/, which I also recommend trying.

Ingredients:

1/2 c. raw crunchy almond butter (I get mine from Trader Joe's)
1-2 tablespoons cocoa powder (depending how chocolatey you want it)
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1-2 tablespoons honey (depending how sweet you like it)
Sprinkling (or 1-2 drops) Stevia
Coating of your choice: cocoa beans, coconut, cocoa powder, powdered/brown/granulated sugar (if you want), crumbled nuts, ground oatmeal, sesame seeds, mini chocolate chips, or whatever you have on hand.

Directions:

Mix all ingredients, roll into balls, and roll each ball in a coating of your choice.  Leave in refrigerator for about 30 minutes. Store in refrigerator. Enjoy!

Note: if your almond butter is newly opened, you may need to refrigerate it first in order to make it easier to work with.

Let me know how yours turn out, and feel free to comment/post adaptions or results.

Then Face to Face

And the water pours
The droplets glistening blue, glimmering silver

Spiegel, mein Abglanz

Can you see yourself?

Open spirit

“Men should be what they seem.”

Tens, thousands, and yet

“I am at rest in God alone.”

Stretching immeasurably, indefinitely, fading into
Glorious washes of color

For I will ever worship Him.